What (Straight) Women Want

If you’ve looked at any news website this week, chances are, you’ve read the “breaking news.” Apparently, men tend to go after attractive women, whereas women care more about security (i.e. $$$) and commitment when choosing a partner.

The recent study by Indiana University cognitive scientist Peter Todd of a group of people at a speed-dating session (26 men, 20 women) showed that “the men sought the more attractive women and the women were drawn to material wealth and security, setting their standards according to how attractive they viewed themselves,” according to the IU news release on the study.

Well, this is earth-shattering news! Thanks for confirming every dating stereotype I’ve ever heard! I guess now I just need to find out if I’m attractive enough to land the rich husband I need to succeed in life.

At least, this is the conclusion I’m forced to make if I read all the hype about this study. But let’s give our IU scientist and his colleagues a little more credit, rather than just creating headlines like, “Men want hot women, study confirms,” as I saw on CNN. In the abstract of the study, it says, “modern human mate choices do not reflect predictions of tradeoffs from evolutionary theory but instead follow a ‘likes-attract’ pattern, where people choose mates who match their self-perceptions.”

It’s certainly an interesting study, and I’m always happy to see IU in the news for something other than our party school statistics. But maybe we should use this study to discuss the ridiculous standards of beauty we have in this society and why most people feel like they can never live up to them.

Or maybe we should re-examine our heterosexist dating culture. I can only imagine how a homosexual person feels after reading constant dating “studies” that leave them out completely. Gays and lesbians are allowed to date, last time I checked, even if this stupid country won’t allow them to get married. So let’s remember the entire dating population next time.


Fancy a try at constant confusion with a side order of 'hal'?

Ahhh...beauty. I feel that this word escapes every comment I've ever made about myself...and yet, I tell myself that I'm extraordinary, ludacris, and just plain mental. Isn't that beautiful?! I must agree with your blog that this world is so obsessed with the word 'beauty'. And that's mostly because although we all say we have our own definitions of it, we end up thinking that we're not good enough for it or that because it's OUR definition and not someone else's, that it, in fact, won't seem beautiful to someone else. That, in some sense, makes it non-beautiful...and we all die a little inside. I (cause I know you're dying to know!) use the word 'beauty' when describing something that is out of the ordinary, one that strikes me as odd in this fascinating sense, an idea that I have never heard of or even considered before. I consider 'beauty' to be similar to a young lady with an appetite for adventure and quirky fun or a gentleman who's not afraid to cry and then beat the unbelievable shit out of someone for spitting in my cherry coke. In my thoughts, I find that I'm so attracted and drawn to those who are, as society sometimes defines, 'abnormal' or 'odd' in their own thoughts and behavior...ones that understand me when I make a statement such as, "Ya know what I haven't had in awhile? Big League Chew." HOWEVER (and this is a BIG however, thus the need for capitalization), I remain unattracted to those who I couldn't see myself 'looking good' with...OR it's the minor, ridiculous (yet sometimes unavoidable) details that completely turn me off (such as a constant case of halitosis that we discussed about a prospect just the other night). So, what is the problem here? Have we all become too picky? Or do we, as in my case, manage to create 'THE BEAUTY' in our minds as something so complex it's simple, someone so extraordinary they're plain, or an idea so ludacris that it's possible enough to believe? And then after all is said and done, we find ourselves settling with the pretty girl/guy down the street with the boring smile and the $60 grand a year job who clips their toenails at the dinner table and refuses to do anything about the 'hal' (halitosis)? What is the DEAL here?! WHY are we SOOOOOOO influenced by society...EVEN when we CLAIM that we're different and follow our own rules? I'll tell ya...it's that damn need for acceptance and all the bitch farts that go with it. But it's a vicious cycle...we feel that we need to fit in, so some of us change our version of 'what is beauty?' and end up with 'Hal' Joe, and some of us just fall into that reject pile...the pile where we are too lazy to change and yet wallow in our self-pity, crying, "Why can't I be beautiful, like, wear Ugg boots and, like, iron my hair so much that it, like, falls onto the floor to cover the 17th layer of skin that I lost this week due to my 30 minutes a day tanning sessions? Why, oh why?! Woe is me."...............Side note: Sarcasm is greatly intended here...duh. It makes no sense and then again, it makes perfect sense. Why is that so easy and yet so hard to understand? And I obviously have just created a whirlwind of thoughts that completely contradict the ones before them, but at least I have an opinion, right? Oh shit! That makes me different! Or similar! Or...? Damnit! I'm screwed either way!
And through all of this, I have managed to not take a side, but instead bury myself under a pile of hypocrisy that smells like a halitosis piece of crap...but isn't it beautiful? Yeah...that's what I thought.
Cheers, Al,
from your deeply rejected, seriously disturbed, utterly confused, but breathtakingly 'beautiful' gal pal,